I lived the first 20 years of my life swearing to myself to never become like my parents. I didn’t understand why they chose the paths that they did. Between my mom’s car wreck that resulted in her being a paraplegic and their divorce, it seemed like life was never the same after that. Life seemed like one punch right after another—parents in and out of jail, prison, and rehab. I started high school, and both parents ended up going to prison within months of each other. I was crushed. It felt like both my parents left me. My sister tried to do the best she could with me. My pain hurt, and my depression was entirely too deep. I didn’t know how to move forward, and I didn’t want to. Nothing in me wanted to go on living anymore. So, there was a night that I was with a group of people partying. I had never used any drugs before, but it was all around me. This is the night I tried to commit suicide. I tried to overdose by taking a lot of pills and alcohol. I intended never to wake up, but I am thankful I did now.
Luckily, my sister and brother-in-law found me that night. My sister had me move away from my hometown to live with my grandma in the little town of Marlow. It seemed life got better. My parents got home from prison. I graduated from high school, started college, worked full time, lived independently with some friends, and simply enjoyed living my young adult life.
I thought life was good until it wasn’t. My parents started using again. Dad abandoned me and was not in my life, and mom had to go to rehab. I found out some of my close friends were using. Something in my mindset changed again. I got curious. This was when my addiction started.
I tried Methamphetamine for the first time. I was instantly hooked. I have never experienced something so powerful that could immediately take control over my life. Within the first nine months, I lost everything. I stopped going to school, and I stopped going to work. I lost my house, belongings, and truck. Everything I worked hard for was gone. My hardest loss was when I found out I was pregnant and miscarried due to my drug use and addiction. This was when it went straight to rock bottom. I lost myself. I did terrible things to many people. I also allowed many horrible things done to me. I was surrounded by people that use including using with my family. I felt I had no way out. I was in and out of jail over the next year until I ended up in prison. I ended up with over four felonies and many more misdemeanors. Luckily, on my last felony charge, I was given an extremely high bond, and I wasn’t going anywhere. I spent the next year in prison. It was my way out. God provided me a way, and I was so thankful.
Over the last eight years, it has been quite the road. There have been many ups and downs, but it has been worth every second of every day. Today, I have two college degrees and work for an outpatient drug treatment program as a rehab counselor. Last week I graduated with my Masters in Behavioral Science and will be a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist someday very soon. Every day, I get to help people heal and deal with their traumas, addictions, illnesses, etc. I love every minute of it and wouldn’t be here if I didn’t choose recovery.