There were so many broken pieces that ultimately led to my addiction. I've learned over the years in recovery that these things are not so uncommon. Child sexual abuses, rape, broken homes are just a few.
I was a late bloomer when it came to my addiction. I was 28, married, and had two kids, a nice home, cars, boat. I was a legal assistant when I started using. I would say I was living well. Then one day, someone introduced me to the devil, methamphetamine. That's when it all changed. My weekend partying quickly turned into full-blown addiction. Before I knew what was happening, I was buying all the ingredients to cook meth. And that's what I did. Overnight I went from using to cooking and selling. Things quickly spiraled out of control. I eventually lost my job and my house due to foreclosure. And I almost lost my kids. I want to say that I changed, but I didn't. I lived that life for 7 ½ years. During that time, things were so horrible. There was a lot of abuse in my life. I was not always the victim; sometimes, I was the aggressor. I had suicide attempts during this time; sadly, I did not seek treatment. I honestly didn't think I would make it out alive. I thought I would die an old junkie.
March of 2009, my now ex-husband went to jail. He spent a couple of months there, and we had no contact because I had a protective order against him, and I had someone living with me. By the grace of God, he got bonded out, but I still couldn't talk to him due to the protective order. Finally, I broke the order and went to see him. We cried many tears, and one thing he said that I will never forget is, "I'm probably going to prison, and you will too if you get busted, they will let you take the fall. And then our kids will have neither of us". That was it. June 10, 2009, was the last time I used meth. Was I ready? Probably not. I had been ready for years, but he wasn't. So I was going to continue on that path with him. But here I am almost 12 years later.
Today, life is good. It is great! I can't imagine going back to that life. I have grown so much through my years in recovery. I've healed lots of broken pieces of my life. I think I've done a lot of great things since I've been clean. I've mended my relationships with my kids and my family. And I'm now Oma to two amazing Grands.
One of my greatest accomplishments was working at the jail for 3 ½ years. I was able to breathe life into so many lives. I would share my story of how and what I've overcome. I love the life that I have now. My goal is to help just one person.
I still struggle in the mental health area, but I'm working on that. I'm a work in progress.